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About Me Member Emotional Poet hot4teacher16/Female/United States Recent Activity Deviant for 3 Years
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rants

Fri Sep 29, 2006, 8:43 PM
hmm. so i have been thinking alot about friends and life and future and just alot of random things... and i have come to the conclusion that most good things in life dont last... and when they do.... you just lucked out. At times i wonder why things are the way they are. And at other times i wonder why i am the way i am... or why friends are the way they are. I hate being mislead. Mislead into believing people are your friends, when really all they do is hurt you. When i think about life... and i have to sum it up in one word... the first word (that is not a name) that comes to mind... would be rediculous. It really really is. It's like whenever something good happens, its just taken away. My one reason for living today is being taken away.... sabotaged in a way. And the thing that makes it worse is that the enemy in this case is ones that are supposed to be here for me and love me. Before i was with jeff i used to cut and tried (and failed obviously) to commit suicide twice. The only reason why i stopped is because i finally have a reason to live. I wish i could just be open enough to say this to my parents...and friends...you know... the people who should know me but dont... maybie then they would understand. Sometimes i just want to scream it. But i never allow the words to come out. Oh... believe me... they want to... im just not dumb enough to do it. ... or is it that im not smart enough to do it? oh, i have no idea. I think its just that i dont have the nerve to say it. ... and to let anyone in my life and see the real me. i "put up a front" i look happy when i need to, when i can be horrible ... miserable and hopeless. I hate that most days i dont have a reason to get out of bed. And i hate how it seems as each month passes i could have just not lived that month and it wouldnt of mattered. I dont know if that made sense or not... but it did in my head. Maybie im crazy... maybie im not. who cares? It seems like everyone around me has everything so put together, and i dont. You'd think i would because i think so much. ... but i dont.... and if i act like i do... im just "acting" ...which lately... is what i do best. It just seems like if i died tonight... it wouldnt matter. when im with my own family its like im invisible or something. ... which isnt really a good feeling... but all well i guess. maybie im a whiner ... and maybie im just being realistic... maybie too realistic... but i guess thats just me.

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Devious Info

  • Current Residence: washington
  • Interests: art, writing, painting, snowboarding... an occasional dirtbiking....cool stuff in life.
  • Favourite movie: donnie darko, office space, billy maddison, and zoolander... among others
  • Favourite band or musician: panic! at the disco, GnR, mudvayne, Zepplin, staind, cobain, metallica, taking back sunday
  • Favourite genre of music: rock... Emo
  • Favourite artist: norman rockwell and freda and van gogh
  • Favourite poet or writer: who ever is good.
  • Skin of choice: i dont see color. lol
  • Favourite game: truth or dare... im stuck in 12 year olds mentality... what can i say.
  • Personal Quote: hmmm
  • Tools of the Trade: trade... hahaha. i laugh at the superiority and maturity of that question.

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Comments


Flagged as Spam
:iconabbebe:
Thank for the fav!!!!! :glomp:

--
[Lust]
If this is a sin then may I burn!
I can't help it my dear, for you I yearn!
Groan; scream; lips; movement; thrust; smooth; oh!
[He did tease her till she could not say no]
Love under sexual tension
:iconabbebe:
thanks for the fave!

--
[Lust]
If this is a sin then may I burn!
I can't help it my dear, for you I yearn!
Groan; scream; lips; movement; thrust; smooth; oh!
[He did tease her till she could not say no]
Love under sexual tension
Hidden by Owner
:iconflickwynde:
Hey there!
Thanks for the fav and the watch.
Appreciate it. ^^

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...still somehow unique...
:iconpost-mortempoetry:
Hey welcome to dA.. Hope you like it here:)

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Feelings, that's all poetry is- Emotions on paper. Your heart poured out in little words that only mean something to you-Feelings no one will ever understand.

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